His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
As shirtless as possible
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
