I am spending my child support on dildos
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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