he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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