p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
