Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
