never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize