Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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