video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
