You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
