The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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