Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
