If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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