You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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