What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
