oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
