kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
