I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize