so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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