Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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