There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
