Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
