i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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