Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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