isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize