Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
3 2 1 whiskey
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
