I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
