Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
