Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
