I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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