apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Randomize
