i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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