I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
