god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
