I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
