There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
