I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
that's an acceptable place to lick
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize