Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
