She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
