Sponge bath it is.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I want her autograph on my taint
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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