You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
