Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
