dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
