question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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