can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
