He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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