i jhust puked up my retainher.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
