If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize