Betty ford says i'm here all night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
