It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
