but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
