He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
