How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
two words...techno handjob
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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