3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
