i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
