Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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