O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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