His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You dont lie about slip and slides
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
