I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
