And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
