ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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