Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
