So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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