Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
