remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
