I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
