i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
