She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
