Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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