About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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