there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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