There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize