i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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