Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
