.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
