Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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