i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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