Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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